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About Deviant NikkiFemale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 9 Years
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forgotten optimism
This is it.
i won't look to the dark side
the light's been waiting
to remind me
that i can cling
to more than the things
that could go
this is me,
finding my
sixteen year old
Letting her hope
swallow me
:iconcrytalstellar:crytalstellar 0 0
above the blackest of holes
i struggled and struggled
but it got me no where.
he's holding the rope
it's a choice
whether or not i sink
into distant seclusion-  
it's all in his hands.
his grip is loosening
i'm sinking deeper
sacrifices must be made.
i don't look at him.
i'm far too afraid.
it doesn't matter
if he's cruel or kind
he's already decided.
waited all this time,
to lock my heart away.
perhaps it's the last time.
i don't want to hang anymore.
my anchor fickle.
there's a freedom in falling forever
so let go
save me.
:iconcrytalstellar:crytalstellar 1 0
the one on the other end by crytalstellar the one on the other end :iconcrytalstellar:crytalstellar 0 0
Once upon a time,
the belief in happy endings
was a driving force in my life.
But Disney fooled me
with their rendition of Cendrillon.
The road to "happily ever after"
isn't paved by fairy godmothers
and talking mice,
but by the battles you have to fight-
assuming you get there.
Maybe I'm just bitter,
or blessed with suck.
Yet, I keep going,
like a knight in sour armor.
"Happy endings" aren't easy,
but they're probably worth struggling for.
:iconcrytalstellar:crytalstellar 1 2
The thought
occurs once more.
It's easier to deal with
when it's a fact of life,
like a silk ribbon, around a finger,
it slips through
and I'm left with
my feelings strewn
in loops across the floor.
I close my eyes-
breathe in
breathe out
hoping to forget
the thought occurred
once more.
And when I see the world again
I'm back where I have started.
But that only means,
The thought
occurs once more.
:iconcrytalstellar:crytalstellar 1 2
Mature content
Dead on Arrival - Chapter Zero :iconcrytalstellar:crytalstellar 0 7
goodbye halcyon days by crytalstellar goodbye halcyon days :iconcrytalstellar:crytalstellar 3 5 handwriting meme by crytalstellar handwriting meme :iconcrytalstellar:crytalstellar 0 2 at the place where stars fall by crytalstellar at the place where stars fall :iconcrytalstellar:crytalstellar 0 0 desktoppppp by crytalstellar desktoppppp :iconcrytalstellar:crytalstellar 1 2
Mature content
fifty-five :iconcrytalstellar:crytalstellar 2 1
the fool
i don't like these fears
i don't like these thoughts
i just hate the way
they strike through my heart
i'm afraid that you'll go
i'm afraid you won't stay
i'm afraid of the fact
that life is this way
but what can i do?
just sit here and wait?
don't fight for this?
and accept all as fate?
tell me you know
how hard i will try
to keep the fire
we started alive
i just hate to ask
but say you'll try too
don't let me me say
that i've played the fool.
:iconcrytalstellar:crytalstellar 2 0
the world's all cold
the sky's gone gray
i just can't help it
and just look away
from the headstone
before me now
i didn't know her
and i didn't know how
the woman here
she's passed away
i didn't know why
she couldn't just stay
lived out her life
for just one more day
but when i look
there's one thing i see
and it's the thing
that reminds me of me
the day her life
had met it's end
is twelve years past
the day mine began
the woman here
six feet underground
and i before her
are connected somehow
i guess it's not surprising
cause that's how things are
but the shock of this truth
is going too far
and so that is why
i just walk away
because near this woman
i just cannot stay.
:iconcrytalstellar:crytalstellar 0 0
section 5.2
differences, sums with cubes
and things squared
substituting trig functions
with letters that aren't there
cotangent is one over tangent
yeah, that i know
i really wish that math class
wasn't so slow.
:iconcrytalstellar:crytalstellar 0 4
it came to me within a single thought
echoing with a clarity that i'd come to hate
'you'll like this boy for a long time'
they were just words
a prophetic phrase that faded away
and when i remembered
it was already too late
i was captivated
by feelings i just couldn't erase
the thought that day was no lie
that much i'll accept-
i'll admit
but the words should have been
'you'll be taken and that
you cannot change'
:iconcrytalstellar:crytalstellar 0 0
Here Is My Heart by crytalstellar Here Is My Heart :iconcrytalstellar:crytalstellar 2 11

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United States
Current Residence: Hell. :D
Favourite genre of music: alternative rock/J-Pop
Operating System: Windows 7
MP3 player of choice: I don't care as long as it plays music,
Wallpaper of choice: visually pleasing
Personal Quote: When nothing is sure, everything is possible.
  • Listening to: Miku Hatsune - Rolling Girl
  • Reading: Give Me Liberty! Vol.1
  • Drinking: Dr.Pepper
Aieee. So much stuff going on... The most prominent thing is that my mother and I just moved. I have yet to unpack my room and my mom has to unpack her boxes of clothes. And she sure does have a lot of boxes. @_@ We also have a new doggy, too. Her name is Lina and she is soooo cute. But I don't know what kind of dog she is... I'll probably post a picture sooner or later, though prolly later (my mom has my camera and we don't know where the charger for it is...). I like our new home though it's a bit farther than where we used to live. ; A;

School is... well, school. I like the schedule part of it more than high school, but socially... Eh. It could be better. I'm not very social in the first place, but it suits me alright. Ugh. That sentence sounds so awkward. Anywho. Schoolwork wise, it's not all that hard. For those who are still in high school/not in college, time management is key. I manage alright- meaning I only procrastinate on essays, but that's no different than before (it doesn't help that my English teacher is a slave driver and we have an essay due almost every other week). But I've learned to not take my debit and credit cards with me to school as I get hungry very easily and the Student Union is full of food places that I want food from. But there will be no food for me right now.

The last thing hasn't really happened yet but is fast approaching. It's almost November meaning.... NANOWRIMO. And to my disdain I don't have an idea for it. I mean, last year my idea came almost literally the day before NaNo started and I did get pretty far with it (half-way....). But yeah. Assuming I don't come up with a brand new idea for this year I'm thinking of three different options, I've done all of them before to some kind of extent...

Hellgame: This one was for 2008. It was basically about a girl who slowly started to become trapped in her best friend's favorite video game.

Parallel: This one was last year's. Twas about a psychic war.

Never Just Friends: Originally I was going to do this for 2009, but then Parallel popped up in my mind. It's based on stuff that happened to me irl. The only one that is really more realistic fiction. I realize that I like writing fantasy/sci-fi-ness.

Hmm... Any ideas?


Add a Comment:
Lime-green-jelly Featured By Owner May 31, 2011  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
thank you for the fav :3
LeonorGracias Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2011
thank u very much ^^

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
ImariUzuki Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2011  Hobbyist
Thanks a million for the fav. :3
domire-angela Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2010
Birthday Llama!

:heart: you, CNN!
yeahh-hannahh Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2010
Thanks for the favourite (:
Peth94 Featured By Owner May 23, 2010
Thanks :)
artisticasianboy Featured By Owner May 16, 2010  Student Traditional Artist
Hi Nikki! Love your ID! ^w^
crytalstellar Featured By Owner May 16, 2010
...IT'S CHADDDDD. HIIII~ Thanks, though it's old, I have to update it soon, though I've been lazy though. ; A;
artisticasianboy Featured By Owner May 16, 2010  Student Traditional Artist
Oh it's fine. I've had mine for almost 2 years. XD I haven't updated in so long cuz my scanner is broken. ;.;
crytalstellar Featured By Owner May 17, 2010
LOL. Mine is too, and I think Amber's is as well... What's with all the broken scanners. xD
(1 Reply)
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