This is it.
i won't look to the dark side
anymore.
the light's been waiting
to remind me
that i can cling
to more than the things
that could go
wrong.
this is me,
finding my
sixteen year old
self.
Letting her hope
swallow me
whole.
dangling
above the blackest of holes
i struggled and struggled
but it got me no where.
he's holding the rope
it's a choice
whether or not i sink
into distant seclusion-
it's all in his hands.
lowering
his grip is loosening
i'm sinking deeper
sacrifices must be made.
i don't look at him.
i'm far too afraid.
it doesn't matter
if he's cruel or kind
he's already decided.
preparing
waited all this time,
to lock my heart away.
perhaps it's the last time.
i don't want to hang anymore.
my anchor fickle.
there's a freedom in falling forever
so let go
save me.
Once upon a time,
the belief in happy endings
was a driving force in my life.
But Disney fooled me
with their rendition of Cendrillon.
The road to "happily ever after"
isn't paved by fairy godmothers
and talking mice,
but by the battles you have to fight-
assuming you get there.
Maybe I'm just bitter,
or blessed with suck.
Yet, I keep going,
like a knight in sour armor.
"Happy endings" aren't easy,
but they're probably worth struggling for.
i don't like these fears
i don't like these thoughts
i just hate the way
they strike through my heart
i'm afraid that you'll go
i'm afraid you won't stay
i'm afraid of the fact
that life is this way
but what can i do?
just sit here and wait?
don't fight for this?
and accept all as fate?
tell me you know
how hard i will try
to keep the fire
we started alive
i just hate to ask
but say you'll try too
don't let me me say
that i've played the fool.
the world's all cold
the sky's gone gray
i just can't help it
and just look away
from the headstone
before me now
i didn't know her
and i didn't know how
the woman here
she's passed away
i didn't know why
she couldn't just stay
lived out her life
for just one more day
but when i look
there's one thing i see
and it's the thing
that reminds me of me
the day her life
had met it's end
is twelve years past
the day mine began
the woman here
six feet underground
and i before her
are connected somehow
i guess it's not surprising
cause that's how things are
but the shock of this truth
is going too far
and so that is why
differences, sums with cubes
and things squared
substituting trig functions
with letters that aren't there
cotangent is one over tangent
yeah, that i know
i really wish that math class
wasn't so slow.
it came to me within a single thought
echoing with a clarity that i'd come to hate
'you'll like this boy for a long time'
they were just words
a prophetic phrase that faded away
and when i remembered
it was already too late
i was captivated
by feelings i just couldn't erase
the thought that day was no lie
that much i'll accept-
i'll admit
but the words should have been
'you'll be taken and that
you cannot change'